در بهشت اکنون!

چرا من؟؟؟

MAN eteghadam ro be khodam az dast dadam....

man kasi naboodam ke betoonam inghadr zood to dame ye joft cheshm asir besham...

man kasi naboodam ke roozi v\chand saat behesh fekr konam

man kasi naboodam ke maniye har kalame ro to vojode digari peyda konam va hala.... har karish baraye man hojate. hala baraye maniye khande , khandehash miyad to zehnam.

baraye maniye poshte kar, baraye maniye selabat, baraye maniye bibaki, baraye.... nemidoonam chera!  nemidoonam mikham be koja beresam.

midoonam nabayad ashegh shod va ya doost dasht. midoonam bayad faramoosh kard... midoonam bayad joloye tanha kasi ke neghab ro ba dastaye khodesh az chehram kenar zad,baz neghab bezanam. hameye inha ro midoonam. be ghole bahar: midoonam adam ha bavar kardani nistan.

ama midoonam va nemitoonam. in baram darde. har ye nafasi ke mikesham...

on rooz sare hesaban omad to fekram... ye rooz dige vasate ghaza...

telephon ham ke mizane, enghadr hol mikonam ke hala bayad chetor bahash harf bezanam ta nafahme in vare khat nafasam chetor gerefte...  vaghti  harf mizane, nemidoonam midoone ya na, ahange sedash onghadr jazbam mikone ke nemikham  hich vaght sokot kone.

ama na! man ye dokhtaram.... bayad mesle ye dokhtar raftar konam. va ye dokhtar shayad hich vaght pa pish nazare... midoonam karam eshtebahe. ino tamame khootoote asheghane ee migan ke mikham begam va nemigam. mikham benevisam ama neminevisam.... ahay! kasi nist?? kasi ke in bohran ro rad karde bashe??? yeki ke bege che konam? daram divoone misham!  hich vaght in ghadr zaeef naboodam..

montazeram.... ye komake hata kochike manavi.... shayad mojeze shod!

میدونم رسم بر تایپ فارسیه. اما تایپم ضعیف شده. می شه خوند. مگه نه؟؟؟

   + هاش ; ۳:٥۳ ‎ب.ظ ; ۱۳۸۳/۸/٥
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